Free to Love

Free to Love

Wedding season is here once again. The last few weekends of my summer will consist of “fun filled” weddings. Balloons, cakes, laughter, happiness, and lots of friends and family members gathered together to watch a couple enter into a whole different level of commitment and set out into an entirely new experience of life. It is pretty surreal when the people you grew up with start to get married off. But every wedding (without fail), has prompt this question in my mind;

Why am I still single?

In this time of my life, I have been bombarded with the hopes of dating somebody and eventually getting married. I have witnessed many of my friends finding their significant other and I have been fortunate enough to see their relationship grow. I have also witnessed the tragedy of a broken relationship and seeing the how it affects both parties. But looking at those whose relationship has flourished over time and at those whose are now engaged and about to tie the knot, I have notice one thing. The ones who are the most ready for marriage are ironically the ones who need it the least. It seems as though they found each other while chasing after God. I guess it is still true that two people who are chasing after the same thing will eventually find each other. But this realization led me to a tragic conclusion of my current spiritual life.

I don’t really believe that God is more than enough for me.

When I do not believe that everything I need is found in Christ, I will began to manipulate others to fill up this vacancy in me. I will start to date and make them say things that will encourage me and make me feel good because I don’t really believe that God loves me and I want some other thing to fill up that emptiness in my heart. Until I come to the place where I can truly say that “there is one no one else for me, none but Jesus,” dating will be a complete waste of time. It is said that love received is love extended, but if your heart is empty, how can you possibly love another person? We cannot love until we realize that we are loved. Loving others has to come from the overabundance of God’s love in our hearts. If we do not truly believe that God loves us, we will start to use others to fill up that void.

Are you willing to give up your hopes of one day getting married if God is calling for you to be single for the rest of your life?

Until I can say “yes” to that, I am not free to love. I want to be able to say that and I believe that God is working in my heart even now to mold me into the person that will find that He is all I want. Giving up your dreams and hopes doesn’t mean that you will never get any of them, but refusing to let go mean that you don’t really believe that God is enough. This is the reason I cannot date anyone right now. I know that God’s plan for my life is infinitely better than the plans I have and acting out of impatience and choosing what I want will be willingly settling for the lesser thing. I want to focus on being the right one instead of looking for the right one. And being the right one means to chase after God with all I am and resting in the assurance that He loves me and that He is more than enough for me.

In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Caspian and his men will sail to the Far East in the Dawn Treader to see their king, Aslan, and to rescue those who are lost. During the voyage Reepicheep said,

“My own plans are made. While I may, I sail East in Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I row East in my coracle. When that sinks, shall I paddle East with my four paws. Then, when I can swim no longer, if I have not yet reached Aslan's Country or shot over the edge of the world in a vast cataract, there shall I sink with my nose to the sunrise…”

This little mouse says that he will chase after his king no matter what happens to him and Caspian agreed. As they pursue their king together, Caspian meets a girl, a daughter of the stars, and will eventually get to marry her. But it wasn’t a voyage to find a girl; it was a voyage about chasing God and His purposes. As we pursue the Lord, He will supply us with all we need; seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you. If it is a spouse, they will come when it’s right, if not He will give us the grace in life to endure it.

I want to chase after Christ and trust that He will take care of the details.